Daily life is truly a rollercoaster ride. You know its a lesson everyday. Its an uphill battle, its a downhill coast. Its a changeover here, its a rough stop there. Its a shout of joy, a pang of fear, its a tear of pain. Its life. Sometimes it is a short trip and sometimes it never seems to end. Somedays you want it to end others you never want it to stop. Sometimes you feel secure, sometimes you feel like you are alone. But we are all on this ride together. We hold on for dear life, we throw our hands into the air to express happiness. Our life, our trust is in the hand's of the ride's operator. Sometimes we get angry with them or upset with this person. Other times we cannot seem to praise them enough. We ride solo or we ride together, either way we make it to the end as one. And before we know it all of the fear/anger/joy fades into the horizon as we walk away from one rollercoaster and prepare to wait for the next. We never know what the next one will hold or if it will even be in operation because at any moment, the ride can just stop. At any point, it could cease to function. Sometimes we are given the opportunity via a free pass to wait for another chance or we have to pay a great price to try again. Other times, it is just the end. Ultimately, though, the experience is in the hands of the rider. It could be miserable or it could be great. Sometimes the reactions however are uncontrollable and sickness sets in, but every rollercoaster brings something new to the table. Our only goal is to trust the operator and hold on for dear life to enjoy every moment because who knows when the rollercoasters will close.
Anyways, today was one of those "eh" days. After last night I've started to feel separated again. Everyone says I need to make Chilean friends but I don't know how to...They keep saying at the church... I'll figure it out I guess. I'm struggling with that right now. I'm struggling with the fact that my friends will be leaving in a few weeks and I'm staying. I'm struggling because I miss structure and I miss convenience. I almost feel secluded--and that makes life hard. It seems like lately, I can't understand a word my host family says to me. I can understand my professors and the people in the ISA office perfectly for the most part and I can understand family friends, but my family--nope.
Just need to take a deep breath. I still have 5 months to figure it out.
Bright note: my literature professor seems to think I have a good handle on literature and he is impressed with my writing skills. :)
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