Being home.

Being home gives you a lot of time to think.
Yesterday while waiting for my friend Lorna to get onto Facebook so that we could play our favorite game, UNO, together, I spent some time reflecting. I became overwhelmed with emotion, just thinking and then imagining what it was like to be there at Jesus' birth, to hold the tiny but all-powerful King of the world, the savior, in my arms.

And as I sat there in all struck wonder, I continued to think. Never in my wildest dreams could I imagine that I would be where I am today. This is my life.
I never could have imagined...

• that I would have friends 5,000 miles away- and not just any friends. Some of the best friends that I've ever had.
• that I would have such tranquility in my heart knowing that God is capable of handling and doing all- I just have to go on living my life for Him and the rest falls into place when it is right.
• that I would be getting ready to head back to Chile again for another 5 months.
• that home is such a relative term- home is where you find love of friends and family, it isn't necessarily a concrete location. A house is concrete, home is something that holds your heart and doesn't let go.
• that you can't always tell you heart what to feel or where to go.
• that it is possible for me to live in another country and find contentment.
• that I have many things about me I still want to change.
• that life after next semester scares me slightly- while God has it all under control, I still have attachment issues.
• that I love speaking Spanish.
• that patience is a virtue all should learn.
• that some things are not in our control.

And as Lorna told me,

"debes aceptar lo que estas sintiendo y guardarlo en tu corazon"

You should accept what you are feeling and hold it in your heart.

Bring all to God in prayer. And accept what you are feeling. Its life. Its beautiful even in the rain. That's what I'm learning.

My heart is full.
There is something out there for me. I just have to wait and see :)

Why Chile?

Many people have been asking me lately, "Why Chile?" "What made you want to go back?" "What's Chile like?" "Do they have internet there?" "Can you drink the water/do you eat real food?"

Now rather than answer these questions in a manner that is uninteresting or boring, my dear readers, I am going to tell you how Chile has changed my life. How Chile has helped me to find ME.

Its not that I love Chile or are completely in love with the country. There are oh so many things I dislike and oh so many things I really love.

I don't know if I chose Chile, or if Chile chose me. Back in November of last year (give or take) I played the "Where am I going to study abroad so that I can finish my Spanish major" game. At that time, I debated long and hard between Ecuador and Spain. Both great options. Ecuador gave me a new adventure and Spain opened the doors to Europe. Ecuador was winning, and really it actually won in my mind. However, God had a different plan. Ecuador was taken out of the playing field by Messiah for safety reasons. So I was left with Spain because Mexico was not an option for us poor majors. This sat ok with me for awhile. I loved Spain, but I found myself lost in the mass of students who were unhappy with this decision to limit the majors to Spain. Spain is expensive and I realized that in my future, the likelihood that I would be working with European children was much less than the likelihood of me working with Central/South American children.

I became a fighter in this battle and lost in a sea of emails and paperwork. And the next thing I knew, I found myself sitting in the BWI airport and had a plane ticket to Chile in my hand. The group of fighters dwindled down to Hillary and I, the guinea pigs from Messiah College sent out to test out International Studies Abroad's Chile Program. Talk about being afraid of the unknown. Those very questions, many of you have asked me, flooded my thoughts. I savored every last bite of my last meal in Texas, I didn't know what was coming next.

The little group of ISA (which I found to be the abbreviation of the long named organization I was now a student of) students huddled together in Texas, sharing brief introductions, gaining trust fast, and starting to form some sort of friendships. Its funny how the fear/the sense of uncertainty can bring people together so fast. But just as we were starting to feel comfortable as a group, it was time to board the plane. Its funny how the nice, "pretend to speak Spanish" flight attendants look when you are on the plane getting ready to leave the country for six months. They were only flying down with us and only staying in the country for probably a couple of hours, a few days max. "Good bye home, good bye US," I thought.

At the time, I did not realize that this was the greatest part of the adventure. The sense of not knowing. Stepping into the unknown...Literally. Getting off the plane, trying to make it through customs with what little Spanish we knew. If this was what Chile was going to be like, man I got on the wrong plane.

However, things changed fast. As we made it past the scariness, that is customs, we were quickly whisked away into hugs and kisses from the ISA staff. They were more than just the leaders of the organization, they became like family. At that instant, we were no longer just faces on a page, lost in a foreign world. People cared for us. They knew our names. And they put up with our horrible Spanish and made us feel like we had a place there.

And just like that Chile became home.

Home, is such a relative term. Its where our heart is. For me, my heart is spread between Chile and Pennsylvania. To some, studying abroad is just a cool sounding thing to do. You get to travel, be a tourist, live independently, and see things in a new light. This is wonderful. But I did more than this. I didn't just live in Chile as an international student, I became a Chilean student. I lived with my family, didn't travel much, took classes with Chileans, went to church with Chileans, hung out with Chileans, basically as I like to put it, I took my life that I have here in the US and transplanted it there into Chile. But the coolest part about my experience there was learning who I was.

I became more than the daughter of my parents, the old drum major, the good friend...I became Shaina. I became more of my own than I ever could have imagined. Being abroad really changes you. I am a testament of that. It is sometimes hard to really show your friends and family from home the changes that you have made from being abroad because they expect that you are coming back the way you left. It really is an issue.

So why Chile? Why go back?

I like who I am there. I like who I am becoming there. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that I would be spending another semester in the long, skinny country where they speak probably the hardest dialect of Spanish you will ever encounter. But I'm going back.

Something, somewhere, at sometime grabbed onto me...I believe that something was God telling me its time to slow down, time to break the pots (Jeremiah), time to stop resting, and time to change who you are. Its about growth. Studying abroad has opened my eyes to the world. Like I said, I no longer just see the US as my home. I see myself as a world citizen. Ready to go forward with whatever God has planned for my life. People tell me faith is great but you have to live in reality. Well, faith is my reality. I may not have the fanciest cars or the nicest house in the future, but material things don't matter so much when you are living a fulfilling life. I could be anything, but really I just want to be an advocate for the kids in this world to open their eyes to see what is waiting for them if they just take that first leap of faith.

It doesn't matter what language you speak or where you live, God is there and love abounds.

I am dropping my elementary education major and making time for me to grow. Life is not about the destination, its about the journey. I learned in Chile that I was spending too much time focusing on things I had no control over, my future. Chile taught me to take it one step at a time. Spanish taught me that for once in my life I want to perfect something I have started. And what better way to do it than to spend more time wandering through the colorful hills of Valpo, talking to the Artisans on the beach, worshipping God with all of my heart with a wonderful group of people in my church, or helping my little Chilean second graders pronunce "yellow" in English and then watching their smiles, feeling their hugs and kisses, and hearing their giggles as they leave their classroom dressed in their little uniforms.

Chile is more than a country on a map. It is more than Spanish speakers.
Yes, Chile has internet and food and good water. In fact, I can walk to a McDonalds, Starbucks, Pizza Hut, and Dominos within a 10 minute radius of my house.

Wake up world, there are other civilized countries out there. Full of promise. Full of hope. Full of people who deserve a chance.

That's why I chose Chile.
Why Chile?
Why not?

for those who haven't been reading/want a refresher course in chile life.

Its a beautiful day in Chile and I just thought that I would write a quick note to all of my dearly missed friends at Messiah College and beyond! Please forgive me that I haven't been sending out updates, I can never keep track of who I have talked to or who I haven't talked to. I accredit this forgetfulness to my dear friend Facebook. I have a few short minutes (before I must go to call my advisor from the ISA office) to update you, yes YOU on my life.

Its hard to believe that in a little less than one month and a half I will be returning to the good 'Ole United States. I can remember the day I left BWI. I thought 6 months was an extremely long time and that December 14th may never come. I look back on it now and honestly I wish it wouldn't come. Granted, yes, some days I can't wait to come home and see all of your smiling faces, I can truly say that I'm going to miss the new smiling faces I met here in Chile a whole lot more than I had anticipated.

So what have I been doing to occupy these 6 months afuera de los EEUU (outside of the US)...well, I will do my best to summarize my life, though, this simple black and white email will in no way shape or form do this experience justice. Therefore, friends, it is your job to ask me and beg to see pictures or beg to eat tasty/original Chilean food. Though, don't be shocked if I ask you to be more specific in your questions or if I beg you for Reeses Peanutbutter Cups, something, one of the only things that Chile lacks. I have McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Dominos, Starbucks, Snickers, Hershey's, SYNDER'S PRETZELS, TURKEY HILL ICECREAM!, all within my reach. Yes you heard me, Turkey Hill ice cream. I guess PA couldn't leave me, ever.

Over the summer I took two classes (Introduction to Hispanoamerican Literature-mind you, literature well Spanish Lit scares the heck out of me, Ia had a wonderful professor who is now my tutor- and Chilean Culture and Conversation). I made a wonderful group of friends whom I want to stay in contact with when I return, found how my life fit into my host family's life, established myself with an amazing church with a great group of Chilean college students, travelled to all of Pablo Neruda (a famous Chilean poet's houses), visited some Northern beaches (took goregous pictures), went horseback riding on the beach, climbed a sand dune, ate lots of ice cream, watched many sunsets, had great conversation, but most importantly, I started to learn about myself/what I wanted to do in the future/and my Spanish speaking abilities. I even got to spend some time with Dr. Yunez and Dr. Beany. It was a great 6 weeks. Trying at times. But great. I got to celebrate my birthday in this country too...during the winter. Did I mention, it was winter?

From this experience, I coined the terms...'life is like a roller coaster' and 'everyday is an adventure.'

And everyday has fit those descriptions quite well.
I am currently taking 5 classes at Pontificial Catolica University of Valparaiso. I can honestly say that I miss Messiah's classrooms, professors, and oh yeah structured classes. But while I spend many days frustrated in class, I know that this experience has shown me what kind of teacher/professor I would never want to be.
The advantage of my Grammar class (up until the time change) was that it overlooks the ocean and some palm trees, the perfect location to daze off and watch the sunset.
Children's Literature never ceases to amaze me. I feel smarter than the professor at times and like the students are third graders. Though, I am learning some things and being forced to create my own stories and poetry. Its been an experience.
Literatura Espanola...well, let's not go there ;)
Dance class. What a class! I learn stuff about culture and have a professor that can move his hips more than most normal people can.
And finally, History of Latin America in the 20th Century. Also an adventure, whenever the professor decides to show up and teach class.

That's just the basic summary of my classes.

Outside of reading five million things and doing school work related things, I had the opportunity to travel to La Serena (northern beach town-near a beautiful fruit growing valley-large observatories-dolphins-penguins), pretty much amazingness. If you don't believe me, wait until you see the pictures. Also, I spent the weekend in Mendoza, Argentina. :D Everything is so wonderfully cheap there AND it is gorgeous, if it had the Pacific Ocean, it would be even better. I found myself face to face with the beautiful Andes mountains and some of the world's best meat. And did I mention I spent an entire day soaking life up in hot springs at a Spa. ;) I also had the opportunity to see a world cup qualifying soccer game (CHILE VS ECUADOR)...CHILE WON!!!!!!! It was such an incredible experience, I don't think I've seen quite that much fan devotion in my life.

My family spent a week here too :) it was great. We went to eat at a lot of cool places and spent time together.

The food in Chile isn't bad, it is kind of boring though after awhile. Chileans can't live without mayonnaise, avocado, salt, sugar, oil, bread...Did I mention that freshly baked bread is my new favorite or that hotdogs with mayonnaise/tomato/avocado are wonderfully tasty.

My host family is good, at times overprotective. The mom tries to use me as a replacement for her daughters who no longer live at home. I definitely have a greater appreciation for living in a dorm...I could never be a full time student living at home again (no offense to my family). They've definitely challenged me in ways I would never imagine. But they always have my needs in mind.

In my "free time" I volunteer in two locations. In a daycare/preschool (really hard to deal with 2-4 year old spanish speaking children) and in a Catholic school with an English teacher (I absolutely love my 2nd and 5th graders there).

I've learned to appreciate Chilean culture, adapted to Chilean spanish, and learned to grow/want to continue to grow.

This coming week I will be travelling to Puncon (down in Southern Chile) where I will be soaking in hotsprings, taking in nature, climbing a volcano (yikes! :D) and zipplining!!!!!!! Did I mention I attempted to surf in the Pacific last weekend...well I did ;) And in a few weeks I will be going to Santiago to see HILLSONG!!!!!!

And finally, I've created a huge list of things I have yet to do that I will do before I leave.

So life has been good and bad, but God has taught me a lot and will continue to teach me. While, I don't want to leave, I know that God has big plans for me when I come back. I'm extremely thankful for the wonderful ISA staff here who have supported me academically, spiritually, emotionally, etc. AND even more thankful for ALL of you who have checked in on me and showed your support. I look forward to sharing more of my experience with you.

Sorry for the length of this...what can I say, 6 months is a long time.

Days like these.

I'm going to Mendoza, ARGENTINA until Sunday! :)

Then my parents, grandma, and brother are coming Monday!

Did I mention, today was one of those days that reminded me why I was an Elementary Education major??

And the housing I might have for next semester sounds pretty sweet- biggest triple in mountain view w/ Ruthie and possiblemente Brynne!

And I learned that my Children's Lit professor appears to not even try to understand what we say to her. She automatically assumes she won't understand us gringas. :X not cool. But the project I am working on seems fun. I'll post pics :P

Also, grammar is boring. My fear of the subjunctive has subsided; now I"m bored.

Caution: Micro Buses go really fast; cuidado. I almost witnessed someone get hit today. It was not pretty. Her bag got hit instead. It was quite scary.

In addition, there is a diploma test for some Spanish cert- not worth $160 if you do not live in Europe, just saying.

I talked to Jessica today too! That was fun. We played with our webcams and then she disappeared.

Life is getting better.

It'll get there.

The next few weeks are super busy.

I can't believe how fast time is flying.

Its Spring here BUT the cold, misty fog appeared tonight.

Lets hope Argentina is nice...I want to go zipplining or to the hot springs.

Chao.

Ok I think that's all I wanted to say.
Until luego.
Shaina

Life's Funny Sometimes

I like the smell of Spring, not a big fan of spring smell mixed with floor cleaner smell, but I can deal.
I do not, however, like not being able to find material to finish a rather large project.
And I have like no money which sucks too.
Oh and I'm still not sure whether I'm a Spanish Education with Elementary Education OR Spanish Education with a TESOL minor.
I've been here for almost 4 whole months.
I wrote a story in Spanish today in my "3rd Grade" Children's Lit. Class; really it's with college students, they just act that way.
I have 5 books to read by, oh, October 20th.
But I'm going to Mendoza this weekend.
Life is funny sometimes.

Community is no longer a bad word.

What a rollercoaster ride the past few hours, days, weeks, and months have been. I have had some of the most amazing experiences and also some of the toughest. But yesterday I made an important realization, these things are wonderful and great but oh how I wish I could be experiencing them with the people I love the most from Messiah and home. I was talking to one of my good friends Rebecca yesterday (our history class was basically cancelled so we decided to walk to the mall to go bowling-which turned into eating McDonalds/Burger King french fries, drinking juice, talking, and watching The Ugly Truth). It was such a good evening and beautiful weather. We talked about everything, but most importantly we talked about how we miss the community feeling of our own colleges at home- we talked about how we didn't really appreciate the bubbles we lived in until they were gone. Granted my world view is much larger now and I think more globally, I still miss the closeness of my little Grantham, PA-Messiah College bubble. There is just something lost in translation when you try to explain what it is like-how great it is to live on the same floor with other friends, how nice it is to walk to class and not have to rely on transportation, how wonderful it is to smile with others, or how great it is to be able to know your professors and go to their offices to talk or drink coffee together somewhere-friends included. There are just some things here that you can't physically no matter how hard you try share with others. How things taste, smell, sound, look, or feel. There a black hole in the translation-literally. We also talked about the 30 Day Fast. I truly saw how it was not about food or sacrifice, it is about Focus. We talked about how Jesus lived radically and how we could do the same. We added laughter and stories into the mix. It was all together a great time with my new (well not so much new anymore 2 months) friend who is experiencing the same things I feel; studying abroad often leaves one feeling alone-especially out of the community loop-but faith brings us together. It forms a new bond; it forms trust that can't be shaken. It lets us realize we are not alone, we all feel like freshman again straying away from God but soaking up every opportunity we have been given. And I see the community too in the school system here. The students are not separated by age when they are out for recess, they are together. The school moves as one. There is a bond forming. There is also a greater bond, I challenge, among students and teachers in my colegio than permissible in the US. A student is more than a student, they are a child here.Yep, that's what I'm learning here friends, that community is not a bad word...its something we should all treasure... I will truly miss the hugs and kisses from everyday interactions. It makes you feel like you belong. Reflection is meant to help you make connections between what you are experiencing and what you are learning. I'm definitely feeling that connection and bond soldifying. It also reminds you, "who am I to judge, I am not even mine to judge."

The past week summary:

• Friday, I went to my Colegio--still love that place. Then Hillary and I went to Pizza Hut to finish the catastrophe paper (ok not a catastrophe but frustrating experience related to the paper..). The pizza was delicious. It was actual pizza and not Chilean version pizza. We went for the All- American imported kind :P Complete w/ pepperoni, mozeralla, and tomatoe sauce! Then we splurged and ordered...Cinamon Sticks WITH ICING! :) Super exciting. After that I met up with Felipe. We bought cookies and translated a chapter of a book he is working on for a friend. Grupo de Jovenes, wonderful as usual-don't really remember the theme though. Afterwards we went out for Completos and had dogs follow us. And were told not to go on the beach, it was dangerous.
• 
  
• Had an asado with friends at the Jardin Botanico. I realized that while it is nice to hang out with other international students, I don't like being in groups of English speaking students in public. It makes me uncomfortable. However, I did like the picnic atmosphere Chileans have. Things are thrown together and work well. There was even a DJ there. It was a good time to be had by all. Choripan and $6 cake and pan w/ pebre=wonderful.
• 
  
• Grammar class is boring; dance class is interesting (our teacher is the Chilean dance representative for South America); Literature class is not recommended for anyone's health (...to explain: the professor we have isn't very organized, etc.); History (well its interesting, its taught by the Department chair some Thursdays, the TA others, or no one other days, its kind of interesting, I think...its fun sitting near friends and drawing when things get a little fome); Children's Literature sometimes leaves something to be desired (I feel like I don't always have the amount/level of vocabulary knowledge that I need for it and the Professor treats the class like 3rd graders because well, they act like it).
• 
  
• I'm making a big decision right now.
• 
  
• I skipped my Jardin Infantil volunteering because well it isn't my favorite thing to do in the world and to be truthful, I just needed a break--Jessica and I ate lunch near the ocean and talked instead. I have a permanent tanline on my chest and a burnt face.
• 
  
• Yesterday both of my classes were cancelled. My lit prof was sick (darn...that's ok, Hillary and I fotocopied our next 5 novels to read...it was $40 in total for me and then $40 for Hillary...bitterness) and the History Prof was busy/TA was sick. Blessing: I got my History test, I can start working on it now :) Hillary and I enjoyed the afternoon by walking around Valpo. We fixed my bus ticket and headed to the Artesania's. Scarves are a weakness; however, I did not allow myself to buy any. The lady we bought stuff from was nice though :) Then we headed to ISA and I did work for my Children's Lit class. After that, I had a wonderful ELAP meeting with Paula. It was nice talking to her, she reminded me not to be caught up in the frustrations that I am experiencing in my Jardin Infantil but to remember that God produces fruits from our labors (or something like that). She's wonderful; all of the ISA staff is wonderful. Then I had movie time w/ Rebecca :) Both McDonalds and Burger King fries are the same here. I also had delicious FRESHLY squeezed orange juice :)
• 
  
• Today I went to my Colegio. My spirit for teaching was renewed when I got to lead class for a bit with the second graders. I got small gifts from some of the girls too :) They may all get on my nerves some times but they are so wonderful. They barely know me but to them I am like a celebrity.

And I think that's all I want to say. Spring time is exciting :) Its finally warming up and it smells like Spring too. There are flowers, freshly watered/cut grass, hot weather, cool nights, and short sleeved clothing that smells like home because I haven't worn it up until this point.

Looking forward to:
Mendoza with Jessica, Katrina, and Hillary.
Family coming October 12-17.
Soccer game (Chile vs. Ecuador)
Finishing up big projects.
Harlem Gospel Choir concert Tuesday.
Maybe doing more traveling.
Seeing where this 30 day fast will lead me.

Thats all.
Hillsong in November.

Suggestion:

I would like to make a suggestion to any an all students who are considering studying at Catolica in the future, please do not take a class with Haydee Pena. Apparently, at one time, she was a great professor; however, she is very disorganized, unclear about her assignments, and overall she puts at least my class on the back burner. I have spent more time frustrated with Literatura Espanola 4 than I have enjoyed it. I've done my best to complete the readings, however, in the grand scheme of her class, so far, they have had no relevance. Even the Chileans are frustrated with her AND showed it today. I'll explain later, its lunch time.

Pena, you are a pain-ya.

Anyways, that is my sentiments right now. But let me talk about my life now.

• Update on the past, I let stress control my life blog: Well the thing about Chile is professors are very, very ambigous about well, pretty much everything AND that ambiguity mixed with a miscommunication with my Missions Trip application for Messiah ( I wasn't sure what date was the correct due date) AND that mixed with ambigious plans to go camping with my host brother (ie: no access to internet to finish the application/keep up with school work) ALL led to a Shaina freak out on Thursday afternoon COMBINED with a massive headache AND one hour to finish everything before camping. So needless to say I was a wreck and decided that breaking off all of my plans and staying upset was the best solution. My host sister talked to me a bit about it and I started to feel better emotionally but nauseaus. It was horrible. But I got through it and then accomplished some things AND learned that the application was not due Friday like I originally freaked out about, it was due today (Monday) so I put that on the back burner for a bit.

• This freak out led to me making a decision to not let stress control my life. I've noticed here that the littlest things make me go crazy. So in short, I want to start slowly and calmly working through things AND spending less time freaking out. (this is ambigious I know, but I'll probably elaborate on it more another day).

• Friday: Hillary, Katrina, and I went to a "parade" in Valpo; though, I'm not sure I'd call it a parade. Now I mean parades in the US are big events usually, with like floats, music, and candy. But here was different. It was like a military procession FOLLOWED by a long pause, during which time we got really bored and uncomfortable with the people around us. Like the motorcycle man that kept talking to me and the old man that touched Hillary and the military men carrying around the loaded machine gun type things. So we left and went to the Feria.

• It was very interesting to note that here none of the big stores are open (ie grocery stores and Jumbo) during Independence Day like they sometimes are in the US. AND the metro runs slower--meaning when it comes you SPRINT to catch it, even if it means you will be charged twice because your card had an error with it the first time.
  

• Most people thought we were from Germany or Holland or Russia because of how we looked and how nice we were. However, most people respected that we wanted to talk in Spanish which was exciting and kind of unusual :)
  

• There were Chilean flags and red, white, and blue everywhere. And really cute kids dressed in traditional cueca type clothing :)

• Since nothing was opened, we ate a great lunch at the Fonda-basically a carnival/state fair type set up. Interesting to note: instead of food stands, there were little restaurants set up. All of the grills smelt super delicious!!!! We chose the best looking one AND ate Choripan (like italian sausage grilled in bread), cheese empanadas, and antichou (shoot I forgot the name again...its basically a meat kabob). It was delicious and our waiter was nice. While we were there we met a retired US marine; it was awesome. He was super excited to have someone to talk to and he shared a lot of cool places in Valpo/Vina that we should check out. He suggested that Ruby Tuesdays was worth going to--good, flavored food and the chance to see US Marines or Navy people.

• The fonda also had games-- for adults and children. Prizes ranged from stuffed animals to bottles of Pisco. Amusing to watch the 'drunk' Chileans play them. There was a knock over the world leaders game, etc. Interesting.

• The fonda had 'rides' too, including one where you could pay $6, get into a plastic ball and float around/hit other people on this water pool.

• At one point, I thought I was in the kite runner because kite competitions are very popular here. They have wars and everything.

• Saturday, I got up early and did my homework! Then ate empanadas/had a great time with friends. I had an Cheese w/ Manjar empanada--don't knock it until you try it. Then went to the Fonda, watched the guys play games, took fun pictures, and had fun! Fun faded with project time with Hillary--love her, hate the project (which got corrupted anyways and we had to redo all of our work...)
  

• On the walk to Katrina's after our project time, a gringa asked us for directions/suggestions for things to do in Vina and Valpo--woohoo we can help people :) it lasted like 30 minutes but it was fun.

• At Katrinas we made delicious pebre-basically, its pico de gallo. :) It took us two hours to cut up all of the garlic, tomatoes, cilantro, lemon, and peppers. Extremely flavorful, fresh, and SPICY. Katrina had to go down the street to buy another Sprite Zero--we killed the other one.

• I went home via micro and made my house smell like garlic.

• All week/all night it was loud outside of my house because the Sporting (place where the fonda was) is right down the road. Made for interesting times.

• Sunday was church! Window shopping with host dad's sister! And asado (BBQ): delicious--its like grilled beef, choripan, kabob heaven AND pico de gallo AND mote con huesillos!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
  

• I then did more reading and hanging out.

That's my life.
Frustrating parts include: today. It rained today. I got wet. Children's Literature was interesting. My literature espanola 4 Professor is frustrating--couldn't find her office OR get the vital outline revisions from her for our stupid take home test. That is just a brief summary because I'm really trying not to reflect on it.

There were other profound things that I wanted to say but I can't remember now. My brain has turned mushy. I have to go to class in about 40 minutes. I'll write again after my tests, etc. on Wednesday.

Until then :)
Chao!

I never really realized just how much I let stress dictate my life and my happiness.

Cueca!

So I went to this pretty cool Folkarts show tonight w/ my chica Isabel :) Fue muy buena y divertida. (It was good and fun!) We got free tickets at the door :) The dances were traditional, pretty, and sometimes hillarious. My dance professor was in it too...

I also ate German food today (well a take on sour pork w/ APPLE SAUCE!) oh yes.

I have an addiction to pan too (BREAD!)

Church was linda as usual. We sang a ton of my favorite songs. You should listen to the service sometime, SUNDAYS @ 12 pm OR apparently YOUTH GROUP FRIDAYS @ 7:30 http://www.unioncristiana.cl/

What else. I'm in a strange mood today and kind of jealous/ annoyed that Catolica doesn't have vacation this week like the rest of the Chilean world.

This is going to be one of my busiest weeks:

• Class 8am tomorrow; 11:30 Tuesday; 10:05 Wednesday; 10:05 Thursday
• Take home "test" Tuesday...Prof as of last week still had no idea what it'd look like.
• Group project meeting tomorrow @ 1:30 (Prof still doesn't know what she wants from the project...)
• Coffee date at Starbucks w/ Jessica MONDAY at 3:45
  
• Jardin Infantil 2:00-4:00ish Tuesday
  
• Empanada party Wednesday @ 1:00
• ConCon/Bowling Thursday!!!!!!!!
• Independence Day Friday
• Not to mention all of the homework and reading I have to do this week... :\

I'd like a break please.

Projects.

So I've spent over 5 hours today working on my Children's Lit project AND I am no where near done. But for the first time in a few weeks, I was actually motivated to push myself to get some work done. I skipped an asado that I was supposed to go to today with Hillary and Katrina because I was on a roll. I sat for hours and hours and hours and avoided the cold outdoor world.

The project would go so much faster if I would let me myself make it into a billingual Anthology like my professor said I could do but I don't know if I can do that. Now, I have to read AND will read even though it is against my will...

Until later.

Chai Tea Latte Heaven.

The title says it all. Seriously, I was like a child begging to go to a candy store today WHEN I found out STARBUCKS OPENED! I was very giddy and still am. I'm not a Starbucks addict but to know my I could savor a Chai Tea Latte...I was in heaven. It was slightly pricey but VALE LA PENA! (worthwhile!)

Today I started my volunteer placement in my colegio. Its a semi-private Catholic school. I got there early of course AND my Spanish pretty much failed me once I got in the door. However, despite the professor forgetting that I was coming, it was worth it. It was really cool to observe three distinct grade levels in one day. In a Spanish setting at that. The kids still refer to the professor as Tia like in the Jardin. But the teachers here demand a lot of respect from their students; they stand and greet the teacher, etc. However, I think there is more freedom in the classrooms. I observed 6th grade, 5th grade, and 2nd grade English. 6th grade was all independent book work (listen to a radio voice; fill in answers) and the kids were slightly interested in talking to me. 5th grade, the kids were like amazed at me and wanted to "talk to me" I think they were shy and preferred to crowd around me and stare. It didn't bother me; it was cool actually to see that they were interested in knowing more about me and the language. They too listened to a radio and filled in responses but the professor went over the answers with them and taught them more.Segunda basica is my favorite. Second grade is just fun. :)

I'm just high on life lately and want to share it with everyone. I think when you let yourself realize what you have and forget to dwell on the not so cheerful moments, life is great. While miscommunication and such is dumb, I'm not going to let it stand in my way of falling in love with what I have here. Life is better that way.

And on top of falling in love with my program and my wonderful friends, I absolutely love the church I go to. I don't know if I can reiterate that enough. It'll probably be the thing I miss most (aside from my friends) about Chile. I learn so much there. I walk away feeling like 'woah, that's important. Or wow that song taught me something.' Maybe its because I have to focus so much on everything but being there changes me. Its less about routine. Its more about faith and worship and love and hope and just so much. I'm so thankful for it because I learn about God there. I want to share it with the world. Today we talked about identity. And it really opened my eyes because I find myself searching for identity in all of the wrong places; I forget who I truly am most of the time.

That's a theme for another night.

But there is one song I want to share before I go...it stands out to me. The group wrote it one night when they were on a camping trip and it really has left an impact on me. It talks about the BEAUTY of the Earth.

El cielo, las estrellas.
La tierra, las montanas.
El trueno y las olas

Muestran tu majesta
Demuestran tu poder.
Grandisimo Senor.

Thanks. Good night.

Shaina's life is made complete at Jumbo.

Its been almost a month since I have updated this blog. Sorry! I've gotten lost in thinking about all that needs to be accomplished for my classes and I have been writing (almost daily) in a paper journal for myself AND talking to everyone, so forgive me I often forget who I have told what to.

What has been going on in Shaina's world you might ask? Well, if you ask me, not a whole lot exciting has been going on BUT that's just me.

Two weeks ago I was sick. I had a fever (not totally uncommon for me, though it was a bit high and lasted two days). My host mom kind of freaked about that. I drank a ton of juice that day and then some strange conoction that my host mom made- well ok it was water, herbs, and lemon, and didn't have a strange taste, it was actually pretty good. My host mom is convinced it was caused by the kiddos in mi Jardin Infantil. I could believe it but I don't know.

Speaking of Jardin Infantil, every Wednesday is an adventure for me. Some moments, I feel like I'm actually helping-others not so sure. The never ending sound of "Tia, Tia, Tia!" coming from every direction sometimes excites me sometimes makes me dread what's going to happen next. However, the kids are teaching me Spanish and stuff about life (I'm still deducting what exactly but I'm getting there). Their little smiles (especially the youngest one Fernando) make me smile. Others irritate me. However, they are kids and they have so much to learn about the world. I love their innocence. I love watching them play in the dirt and dance the cueca. I love Matias who is always in his own world and flies an imaginary plane during patio time. I love how a little toy wheel can become an entertaining game, with so many practical uses. I still will never understand what it is like to grow up without story books or crayons, but they are making do. Though, leaving me on a playground with 24 Spanish screaming preschoolers is probably not the best idea in the world. I'm getting there.


What else in my world? I could write a book about my classes but I'll stick with this short summary.

Classes are going fairly well. Dance is entertaining, grammar is a nice review (also the professor teaches us a lot about Chilean culture and linguistic differences so that's fun), History of America Latina Siglo XX is much better than my other history class (ironically, its basically the same material its just with international students and the head of the history department as the prof), and children's lit is entertaining :) I enjoy the class, though I'm realizing I do not know a lot of vocabulary! It'll help me improve a lot. Its still fun and we are creating a lot of our own work for a book we have to create. I love creativity but its going to be slightly difficult because I have to buy all of the materials that I have at home (that didn't make it here!) And finally, my Literatura Espanola class..its a class with all graduating seniors so its kind of rough because the students are finishing their Lit majors and don't need detailed explanations about the literature from the professor. I'm not a big fan of literature to begin with so having to read 2 novels, 2 plays, and a ton of poetry in 2 weeks or so for a test is kind of overwhelming. However, Hillary, the other ISA students in the class, and I have a great tutor. After Tuesday (first test) I'll let you know how I survived. haha BUT it is now a take home test :)


Not much else is going on. I can't believe that we are almost half way through September. I will probably be starting a volunteer placement in a Colegio soon and continuing my Jardin placement.
Next Friday is Chilean Independence Day and all international students are canceled for the week.
My parents, grandma, and brother are coming in October for a week, I'm going to a Futbol game (Chile vs. Ecuador!), and we are probably going to Mendoza, Argentina.
Then in November Hillary and I are going with a group from our church to see Hillsong in Santiago.
And hopefully sometime towards the end of the semester Hillary and I along with a group are going to Patagonia.

Before I know it, I'll be home.
I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to major in, etc.

I've been in Chile for almost 3 months, actually, it probably has been 3 months. CRAZY. Some weeks fly by OR months even but some days drag on to no end. Though, right now I'm trying to figure out what happened to August and September. Can you believe yesterday was 09/09/09? And tomorrow is September 11th? A month from Saturday my family will be here. In another 3 months I will be getting ready to pack my bags and go home. I no longer have 6 months OR all the time in the world for that matter. Its crazy how fast life goes. Ironically, I am getting ready to listen to a song by Jeremy Camp called "Slow Down Time." I'm not really sure what its about but sometimes I wish that I could slow down time. Especially this past week. I feel like life has just been flying past me and sometimes it leaves me behind. I'm constantly in a rush to get things done and get different places AND I stress without end. I think (I've concluded) that I spend more time stressing about life and what needs to get done than I do actually doing what needs to get done. That is pathetic and sad. I need to work on that somehow.



what in my life is keeping me busy?

Interesting points to note: (maybe just one...)

Dang Literature class has 62 students in it. Woah there were not enough chairs for everyone.

Thank you God.

You may not have what you want, but take a look around you and see just how B.L.E.S.S.E.D. you are.

Here are some blessings in my life:
Sunsets: I can't resist a beautiful sunset. Its a problem. My Monday night grammar class has a beautiful view of the ocean and palm trees and with this comes a BEAUTIFUL sunset most Mondays. Try concentrating sometime in a room like that...its SO HARD. :) But it is so worth watching the sky errupt in colors, God's creativity bringing life and peace into the world by illuminating the sky with ORANGES, PURPLES, PINKS, YELLOWS, REDS, BLUES. Thank you God for las Puestas del Sol. I watched another tonight. The blue Pacific Ocean sparkled underneath the setting sun. Thank you God for beautiful sunsets and the opportunity to enjoy them in all circumstances-during times of work and times of rest and times of play.

New Friends: Thank you Lord for new friends. My Chilean friends and my ISA friends. They are such blessings. I'm thankful that I can spend time with these people- its like I've known them forever. The greatest gift is the lessons they teach me: like how to life (Chile is a gift) and love and laugh at myself. Though, I miss people from home, I'm glad I get to share this wonderful experience with these people. We laugh as we dance during Traditional Dances-with our crazy teacher and cry when we feel like our classes with Chileans will kill us or laugh when we remember our adventures and old friends from the Summer. Thank you God for friends and the opportunity to live with them.

I'm also thankful for this break. I honestly for once in my life am not running around like a crazy person trying to do EVERYTHING. I get to enjoy life. How cool is that? I'm still trying to figure out how to do it but I get to do it. I just hope I don't mess it up by filling it up. But I get to volunteer and walk and live. How cool is that?

I'm thankful for lessons, even if they suck.

I'm thankful for being remembered.

I'm thankful for patient people.

I'm thankful for this blessing God has given me.

I'm thankful for ISA. I was not having a good day today. It sucked actually. I fell down before leaving this morning because we have a rug that does not have rubber at the bottom of it. Needless to say, it moved and I went down. Then I couldn't dance one of the Cuecas in my Dance Class because I couldn't figure it out. Then I went to my Literature class and there is this crazy girl from ISA in the class who decided she wanted to complicate everything, the whole tutoring thing that ISA set up. Needless to say I was frustrated. BUT as soon as I sat down in the ISA office and started talking to the people that work there, I felt a ton better. The atmosphere is freeing. I can laugh with them and learn from them. I believe they have the best jobs in the world. They are so helpful and so nice. I'm so thankful I can go there and just let go. I'm not afraid to be myself or make mistakes or ask questions when I'm there. The atmosphere does not allow it. PLUS there is always some sort of Christian music playing-rare to see in a program BUT GREATLY APPRECIATED. So thankful...and they find answers right away or work to find them in a timely manner. <3

AND I'm thankful that my lit professor from the summer is going to be my Literatura Espanola 4 tutor!! :)

AND I'm thankful for interesting literature topics.

AND fresh fruit. AND almost spring. AND flowers. AND the smells of spring and the ocean. AND waves. AND family. AND walking. AND spending time with people. AND change (both $ and change!) AND playing UNO! AND volunteering. AND something I can't remember right now. AND WJTL. AND the ability to EXPERIENCE THE WORLD! AND the blessing to buy a ticket for HILLSONG! AND hugs. AND the metro. AND the ability to walk. AND education. AND PICTURES! AND letters. AND LIFE. thank you God.

Thank you God for your blessings and PLAN for my life. I may not know it now but I'm going to wait to see where life takes me. I think I've come to meet peace finally with that. You've shown me that I need to TRUST you because if I don't...I will fall down. (literally) woah. God you are amazing.

My life:

just had a beautiful reminder of something she's seemed to forget: God is amazing and this time she has in Chile is a gift, its time to enjoy it more fully. "Life is a dance towards God. The dance is not so graceful as we might want. While we glide and swing our practiced sway, God crowds our feet, bumps our toes, and scuffs our shoes. So we learn to dance with the One who made us..."

En las semanas (los dias) pasadas recien, me senti lejos de dios pero mi amiga dijo algo muy importante hoy...que esta experiencia es un regalo que yo necesito disfrutar con toda mi vida..."Vida es como una danza hacia Dios. Muchas veces este danza no es tan bonita como queremos. Pero Dios nos ayuda perfectar toda. En otras palabaras, ahora, aprendemos como bailar con nuestro creador."

Teach me to pray.

I think I'm ready for a vacation already.

Too much thinking, not enough enjoying.

I don't wanna go through the motions.

I should be doing one of two things right now, either sleeping or doing homework. Both of which are important and not given enough thought or effort everyday. However, instead, I am here writing in this blog because for once I feel moved to say something. When I feel moved to say something, there can be no stopping me.

I started another week of classes at Catolica. What a long week but yet a very short week. I've been here for two months and one week already...I cannot believe it. Two months ago I was at home with my friends--my world seemed organized and ordered. Then one month into being here, my world turned itself upside down. The world took one look at me and said, "here I am, come to me. Explore me. Forget security. I'm here. Come see all that I have to offer. SERVE HERE!" But where exactly am I to serve? I'm feeling torn and pulled in all directions. See, here's the deal: I'm a double major- El Ed and Spanish Ed. I could be content teaching in either area, but here's the kicker...I don't know if I want to settle for contentment when there is a whole world of possibilities waiting to be explored. I really wish money were not an option. I feel like now I'm stuck, here is why I am torn. I want to serve. I don't need a lot to live. But I feel like I can't follow my heart because here in reality there is something called: loans, bills, etc. The darkness of debt that will follow me for years to come. That's part of the reason I am really upset that Messiah is charging us almost $4000 more than ISA's price to be here in Chile to study abroad. FAIL. Messiah is so extremely expensive as it is and I have no idea how I will ever pay for it and live the life I am dreaming. I prefer living in the: you only get one shot at life, better life it well and have nothing hold you back: mode than in look at that bill. I really sometimes question whether I should be at Messiah. Though, I know how truly blessed I am to be there, there are so many great things about that school and I probably talk way too much about it here with my host family. I just can't stop missing it at times. But I can't help but wonder if the price is worth it in the end.

So to elaborate on the life I am dreaming, well I'm dreaming of living in the world. My goal is to leave some sort of mark, a footprint, something on each of the continents. I want to live largely and live for God everywhere. I can't sit still. I want to share my dreams with my family and friends, especially my parents, but I feel like I can't because every time I do my dad is like well you need a job, you need to make money, you can't just travel, get a secure job. And its not just him. Then I have the other end of the spectrum, Hillary, telling me just to do it. (probably because she is tired of hearing me talk about this stuff...I can't help it) What does all of this mean anyways? Where do I go? Yes, I have to trust God and his timing--but unfortunately, Messiah and bills have different, less flexible schedules to follow. If I can't find a job that lets me live in the world (meaning travel) for the rest of my life, then I at least want to take advantage of it now. I found out about an opportunity for next summer that I'm seriously considering. I haven't really told a lot of people about it yet because I'm afraid of how they'll react. I don't even know if it is reasonable or possible for me to do but it combines all of my interests: teaching, teaching english, traveling, living in other cultures, students, being on another continent, into one. Its a Christian Program called English Language Institute/China. Yes, I know...Here I go again. I can't help it. I didn't know when I was born that I'd get the travel bug. But I do know, that this experience, this opportunity, if I can figure out a way to do it, will definitely help me to decide what I want to do with my life. I just have to raise the support to do it.

I guess dreams become more real when you publicly post them for all to see or to criticize. I just had to get this stuff out. As much as I love Hillary and the people I talk to on Facebook and AIM sometimes that isn't enough. I really just need to sit down with someone and talk to them about life soon. I mean I do it but not enough. And I talked to Dra. Rodriguez briefly the other day through Skype and I've gotten really good advice from people like Profesora, but sometimes you just need someone to sit down and process it all with you. That's the stage I am in right now. The stage where I need encouragement, support, reality, and someone to listen to me. That's all.

Yes, this is a time to learn from. A time to grow. Its a test, I know it; that's the problem. I know the solutions and the answers, I just second guess myself and fail way too often. I know that God doesn't expect me to know it all right now. His test isn't about that. His test is about making me trust him. And seek his advice and guidance. I have to learn to listen to that still small voice, though I have no idea what it sounds like or where to find it. There was something profound that I wanted to say but now I can't for the life of me remember it. Oh well.

Anyways, I just need guidance right now.

What's been going on in my life otherwise?

It rained horribly on Tuesday. I don't like that much rain. I like to boycott it.

Wednesday I started my volunteer placement at the Jardin Infantil. I have to learn how to get out of the observer mode and help out. I made a lot of comparisons between childcare in Chile (renaca alta) vs. in the US. We'll see how it goes. I don't know if I can be a Tia. The day was full of travel, etc too. I walked to Sausulito for Children's Lit (25 min and a HUGE hill with a pretty view), 30 minute bus ride to Renaca Alta--Jardin Infantil esta aqui, 45-60 (not sure) bus ride to Valparaiso, 10 Metro Ride to Vina, 25 minute walk home. POR FIN!

Children's Literature on Wednesday- we spent the period creating Christmas carols and singing them. Very entertaining. I like this class a lot.

I also got to talk to Dra. Rodriguez like I mentioned. That was good. We tried skype but it kicked us off every thirty seconds, I gave in and called her office. We talked for awhile and she wrote a great email to my other advisor, Suzanne Fenell. I'm very grateful for that and very eager for a response. I learned that I'll have more than enough credits to finish too. And I even spoke some spanish with her, that made me feel proud.

One of these nights the earth moved a little bit. There was a temblor, which is like a tremor. Strange sensation.

Hillary and I walked around Vina today. I bought a bookbag which I learned had a stain on it. Fail. But at least it looks loved and it was only $8. I also bought a scarf :)

This evening I tried out another History class ( I was late because Hillary and I went to Jungle Juice, she does a very good job at trying to get me to skip my classes...). When I got to class and realized what we were doing (the TA was talking really fast and there were a lot of notes on the powerpoint), I started to laugh really hard to myself because THIS IS THE SAME CLASS I DROPPED WITH CHILEAN STUDENTS! The only differences are the teaching style and the fact that it is with International students once a week instead of two. Oh man. What an adventure. I'm glad I'm taking it though. It'll be interesting.

ISA is arranging tutoring the three of us ISA students that are in my Lit Class...that doesn't sound promising but I'm excited nevertheless, it'll be nice to have someone explain what's going on even though I'm following it sort of. The class is interesting.

My host family talked about music tonight...apparently my host dad like Beyonce...and my host mom likes African American singers. It took me forever to distinguish the names because their pronunciations were well to put it nicely...bad. OH well provided a good laugh.

Uno is now an addiction for many people.

And that's all I feel like thinking about now.

Thanks for reading.

I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from?

From You.
Your grace has found me just as I am, empty handed but alive in your hands.
And though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm.
Blessed be your name.
Let me know that you hear me, let me know that you love me...let that be enough.
In your presence is where I want to stay.

I'm praying for many things right now.

But in His presence is where I want to stand.
Its not about the things here, but its about the things above.

Today (after fighting with myself about whether or not to go to church) during my walk to church I felt a contentment. The sky was blue, the air was perfect, and the streets were calm. I didn't want to go to church at first, but something in me made my feet walk. I prayed while walking and felt myself grow taller. When I got to church, I felt myself surrounded by love-the love of my friends, the friends that I've known for such a short period of time, some for only a few short days-others for two short months. In that moment, I realized just how fast time flies and how it doesn't matter how long you've known someone for you to love them. My host mom tells me everyday that she loves me, and I often can't find the words to return the phrase because my definition of love is so limited. I don't want to forget how much I love my parents and use the same words with her, but I just realized that love knows no bounds. You can love multiple people on multiple levels. So why am I so reluctant to share my love with others, who are different than me or who aren't my real family or who drive me crazy or who I may very well fall into love with. God loves me freely so I should love them freely. (Hosea 14:4). Love knows no bounds. It is not limited by our definitions. By letting ourselves live freely in God's love we can love freely on Earth.

So during times of trial, frustration, and joy...search God's heart and you will find a contentment and love that transcends all pain. And remember to "love them freely."

Exactly what the doctor called for...

Today was one of those days that made all of the stress from this week disappear.

I got an email from my advisor this morning that really helped me figure some things out: happy news, I may get credit from my favorite class-Children's Lit :D

Then I went to the Center of Vina and hung out with Elizabeth. We talked and shopped at the Artesenias. She is flying back to the US tonight...she was the last of the summer people here hanging around. It was kind of a sad moment for me to realize that she was headed home. But that's ok, I have more time to explore. I got to buy some really cute earrings today...that means I can buy more ;)

After saying goodbye I hung out with Felipe for the afternoon. I really needed this. We ate Arabic food, manajar flavored desserts, talked, laughed, joked, and watched FireProof. He is a great guy to hang out with.

Now I'm being lazy.

My host mom is crazy :P She was dancing at Once tonight. Oh man.

So I'm learning a lot about life. Still.
My friends here have taught me that the best guys are the ones that love god more than anything in the world, that its ok to cry, laughter is wonderful, don't settle for anything less than what you deserve. The best things in life are worth waiting for. And that it is more about forming a friendships first. Finally, you shouldn't give up your passions.

Now if they could just teach me about figuring out my future.

Ugh and make Messiah not be dumb about things.

And make it possible to major in minors :P

"I will praise you in this storm."

Banana Milk Makes Life Sweet.

I'm in a semi productive feeling mood tonight so I thought that I would give it a shot and try to update this thing.

So much has happened (but then again not really) since I have updated this thing last.

Orientation at Catolica really wasn't worth it for Hillary and I since we had pretty much gone through it all during the summer. The highlights were meeting some students, feeling really smart because we could make decisions on our own, and having our visas finished. We also got cool planners and had a chance to watch people dance the Cueca- national dance of Chile. Oh yeah and we took a tour of the entire Catolica campus- which I learned is spread out through Vina and Valpo. My favorite campus is Sausulita. Its near a laguna in the hills. It is really pretty and reminds me of Messiah. I currently have my children's literature class there--unfortunately, however, I have to drop the class. We'll talk about that in more detail later in this post. But the history building isn't bad either. I mean I really don't like the massive stairway you must climb to get to the building but its alright. I'm definitely getting my exercise. Gimpert or RC isn't bad either, however, it reminds me of a high school. Its kind of old and old. Yeah old. Different than Messiah. I must admit though, the one room has a wonderous view of the ocean, it it absolutely beautiful when the sunsets. The palm trees, the water, the lights on the cerros, the pink and orange sky--no wonder I had some trouble concentrating in my grammar class. :) The gym, well it is like a wrestling room--that's where I have my dance class. All of my classes require me to walk a good bit, which I mean I don't mind as long as it isn't raining. But I can't hold my breath, we are still in the rainy season here in Chile, which I've been told has been unusually unrainy. :D

God is really teaching me a lot about life and living from my experiences, from Youth group, from my family, and from my friends especially--like the talks I've had with Hillary, Elizabeth, Kate, etc. I'm learning to direct my attention towards him, not to worry about the future, and that time will not make itself available to me, I have to make myself available to it. I'm learning to look deeper into things, I just have to make sure it doesn't keep me from pursuing my dreams because I should remember to go confidently in the direction of my dreams. I've learned though that I really have a passion for international students, teaching English as a second language, and traveling. So I really hope to find a job in the future that will let me incorporate all of these interests plus my love for different cultures, interaction, structure-but not routine, and networking all into one career. I really want to do some traveling when I graduate--and though I'm not completely sure right now, I'm really considering doing a year of service with a program through the ELCA--the main part of my church. Just a thought going through my head right now. I would really like to shadow someone in admissions and spend time talking to missionaries, professors, RDs, study abroad people, etc. to see how they got to where they were. Its like a project that I'm taking on. So far, I am really enjoying it, especially when I get to talk to people in ISA like Paula--I get to practice my spanish and talk about something I am passionate about. I think a job in admissions or with college students is where I'm leaning towards because I would really like to help students figure their lives out. I just want to get out into the world and serve all of it, not just one spot but the whole world. I have a goal to get to all of the continents (maybe not Antartica) at least once before I die. :)

What else? I took a trip to La Serena with two great friends after Orientation. :) It was a ton of fun and taught me that I can pack for a week (well ok 5 days) only using a backpack. We stayed at a cute hostal--kind of like a camp :) the rooms were fun and colorful. Every morning we ate bread and drank tea outside. The only downside was the uncomfortable beds and FREEEZING SHOWERS! Oh well. It was only $12 a night. La Serena itself was ok, I really enjoyed the tours in Valle Elqui and to Isla Damas and to the Observatory. We got to see so many cool towns, mountain views, a desert like area, a huge goregous dam, the stars!, the moon, dirt roads, nice people, little kids playing in a plaza (riding those motorized cars)--the plaza had music and a family feel to it: for once people were not staring at us!!, eat yummy food-fresh fish, empanadas, solar cooked food!, etc. The tour guides were informative too. Ohhhh and we got to see PENGUINS! REAL LIFE PENGUINS! And take a boat ride in the Pacific and ride through a cloud and see a lighthouse and see Gabriel Minestral's (SP?) school and a lighthouse and a $4 meal (cazuela, drink, and chicken/rice) and I tried Mote con something that I still can't remember and oh it was just so great. And we had great seats on the bus (top floor front row, full views, and then on the way back front row AND lots of space!) and oh just everything about the trip was fun. I mean at times it was difficult for me but it was worth it especially when we ate at Cafe Colonial-it reminded me of something I would go to with my family. I had a delicious pepperoni, mozarella, and veggie sandwich-delicious and perfect and then the next day I had an AMAZING hot chocolate with marshmallows- they didn't even charge me for it; I was able to substitute it instead of having tea or coffee, how cool is that!? And I had a huge omelete with huge toast and they played the best American music on the TV. It was just great. And a fun way to end the trip. I learned a lot about myself and just had fun with friends, talking laughing, and exploring. I took a ton of pictures too. :) Gymnastics on the beach was included as well ;) and SHOPPING!

So coming back to Vina was difficult because I didn't want to leave the greatness and spontenaity of La Serena.

I skipped my first class Wednesday to visit my Jardin Infantil through one of ISA's initiatives to show students what Vina and Chile is like outside of the touristy areas--I loved it. Really I mean I could feel the community and the love the kids had to share and it was in the hills- TREES AND GREEN HILLS EXIST! We got to meet the kids, see the Jardin--its a free Jardin, the parents pay nothing and the kids get everything they need including toothbrushes and little sinks to brush their teeth. They are full of life and energy there. :) They sing fun songs too, sometimes in English and the teachers are passionate. By the way, to the kids the teachers are Tias. I get to be a Tia :) After touring and posing for lots of pictures for the paper (by the way I was in El Mercurio de Valparaiso!!!!!!!!!!!) I'm famous, we had tea/coffee with the mayor of Vina. She was sweet, kind of like Kim Phipps!! Super nice. She had a crazy assistant guy that was obsessed with trying to speak English. Oh crazy man. I got to meet some cool girls there too from ISA. It was a good experience. I look forward to volunteering there more. However, I would like to volunteer with older student too so that I can try to get credit for my time from Messiah--if that will happen, I don't know if I stand a chance.

After that I went shopping-bought shoes, the guy treated me like I didn't know Spanish, which I obviously do...whatevs, I had my first class Wednesday night. It really wasn't anything. Our grammar prof just introduced the themes and a bit about the class. The end. Hillary and I ran errands and then went home.

Thurday was a random Catholic holiday--that means no classes. The first week and classes are already being cancelled. Oh my welcome to Chile. I think I just relaxed all day? I don't really remember. OH WAIT. Hillary and I went around and check out hotels because MY FAMILY IS COMING IN OCTOBER! :) I'm excited. It was fun. I got to practice my "spanish" some of the people were nice others not so much. But I found a cool hotel--one that my dad loved and it is right on the water. I'm staying with them. That really excites me. :) I'll figure out the class stuff later. I'm just glad they are coming. And it is cool because my grammar class is cancelled the week they are coming! How random!?

I don't think I really did anything else. Friday was laziness and hanging out with Hillary. I wasn't really feeling wellish. We had empanadas-the veggie kind in the cool juice place and I drank a ton of fresh juice-grape and orange! It was fresh--no sugar, por fin! It was tasty! Church was fun as well. We danced haha afterwards. I liked the message, I forget it though right now but it'll come back.

Saturday, I went to the Feria with my host mom. The reality of Chile. Its this huge farmer's type market with any fruit, fish, or vegetable you could ever want. And it is CHEAP. Definitely not sanitary though but full of color and life. I didn't like the closeness of them though and I realized how pushy my host mom is with other people. She knows what she wants and does everything in her power to get it. She liked going with me because since I'm gringa they called everything beautiful and tried to give her the best stuff. Oh my. I'm glad I could help? haha It was an adventure. I want to take pictures of it sometime. I've never seen someone buy so many fruits and vegetables at one time in my life. It would cost a million dollars in the US but here it is affordable and fun! Speaking of fruit..I have to eat my orange. I don't think I've eaten so many oranges or fruits in my life. But I'm definitely enjoying it. I met my host dad's sister. She has a huge rabbit, a turtle, and a dog oh and cats. She's pretty nice and cool. Reminds me of Aunt Linda in a lot of ways, speaking of her...I miss her!

After that Hillary and I went to Con Con with Paloma, Fran, and a guy that I can't remember his name. Haha it was fun. We took the Micro there. Ate delicious seafood empanadas (crab, shrimp, and some cheese) and then walked around the beach and took fun pictures. Fran kept saying bad words in English and we had to explain to her why she could not call her friend an Ass or why WTF was not a good phrase to use. She was sad about that and couldn't grasp how bad the things were. haha oh Chileans. After that Hillary and I went to the Centro de Vina and went to a cafe. I had hotchocolate :) and tea to warm up because I was FREEZING! I was apparently sick. But it was delicious. Then we waited for an hour for Katrina to show up and we went out for a bit near Journal. It was full of laughs and fun. Finally I went home and my mom had tea and bread waiting for me. Definitely appreciated that.

The next day after church (I was overwhelmed there because my host mom made sitting down more difficult than it had to be...) we ate artichokes. I don't know how they were cooked but we pulled the leaves off and ate them. I don't know if I have eaten that much food in my life for a long time. It was good but man I was full!!

Monday I officially started classes. 8:15 I had children's lit. I felt like I was in a middle school classroom. The girls wore pink, giggled, talked when the profesor was talking, had Hello Kitty/Strawberry shortcake notebooks, cupcake change purses, and gel pens. Oh man. I didn't think I would survive. I could bearly hear the Professor too. Luckily, I met this really cool girl at the end who helped me figure life out--well that class anyways. Unfortunately, I think I'm going to have to drop the fun class because it won't count for anything and I want to make sure everything counts :( I'll miss my Chilean group there. They are fun and the class really is good even though its the same class I took in the US. I think Anita Voelker is definitely a better professor though!

After a long break and a rushed lunch during which my mom tried to talk too extremely fast while I was trying to eat, I walked to my history class. I thought I might die in class. First there are over 50 people in the class and the professor is monotone and really boring. He spent the entire period (1 hour and 30 minutes) really talking about NOTHING. He said the same thing over and over using different words each time...oh man I think if it continues like this I might die. I would really like to drop the class. But I dont' think there is anything else I can take in its place. Ugh fail. And to top it off the people in the class spend the entire time talking while he is talking. :( I don't know how classes work here but man they are frustrating. I still have to figure out how the evaluations work in this class.

Literature is going to be hard but I think that I'll really like the Professor. She is informative, uses a powerpoint, and the first book isn't too long and doesn't seem to bad. The funny thing about Chile is that here you don't buy the book--you go to the library, check it out, and PHOTOCOPY the entire thing. Yes, the entire thing. How crazy is that?!

Dance class will be entertaining. The teacher seems crazy. I had to dance with him haha that was interesting. We learned how to dance the Cueca from the North and Isla Pascua. And we played this crazy hugging game--I WON WITH RANDI haha. it was fun. We made a good team. It was interesting though, and another form of the disorganization here, no one was quite certain where the classroom was for this class and I got lost of course and was there too earlier but it worked in my benefit because the four of us that actually found where we were going learned the dances first and yeah it was good.

So that's life. Its crazy. I had a good talk with Paula yesterday when we visited the Jardin again. I got to talk in Spanish and learn more about her life and stuff. It made me proud that I could speak in Spanish and carry out a conversation.

Some aspects of life have been frustrating. The whole miscommunication thing with Messiah is getting really obnoxious and the miscommunication with Texas is too. It'll all work out eventually I guess.

Today Hillary and I spent money shopping because we can do that since we are in Chile. haha There was an entire section of a store that I fell in love with, I restrained myself however and only bought 3 shirts. :P It was good fun.

I'm still working out my schedule and life but yep.
Tomorrow its supposed to rain...boo.

But I get to sleep in!! Then I'm going to a concert tomorrow night with Hillary and Katrina because apparently it is El DIa de La Juventud in Vina (FREE CONCERT!) woot. So that works for me.

I'm still adjusting to my family here. Its good though at times. Yesterday I helped make lunch and Monday I watched a movie with Pablo. Oh and I walked with my host mom to get bread. Haha I'm trying. She made my favorite lunch yesterday (Spinach, ground beef, and alfredo sauce!) Its good. I also learned some of her "secrets." Like sometimes soup is just yesterday's lunch food processed HAHA Oh my. The things I saw...

But yeah I've spent way too much time on my computer the last few days and weeks. I should get our in the world.

Chao!

"Time does not make itself available to you, you must make yourself available to it."

A little something that I learned yesterday, or at least tried to focus on.

what a week...

Its so weird to think that I've already been here for a little over 5 weeks and finished my first 2 summer classes in Chile successfully.

Time flies...I will update more when the mood strikes me.

Tomorrow we start orientation at Catolica...

Let there be rest...

Instead of writing a paper or doing other things that I should probably doing, I've decided to set aside some time to update this blog with more than a few sentences that really don't demonstrate or give much insight into my life to you the reader who probably has no idea what I am talking about half of the time.

I basically spent all of my free time this past week trying to write a paper, a simple one page paper describing why one of the many stories we have read in my contemporary hispanoamericana literature class was contemporary. I literally spent hours just sitting at my computer, easily finding myself distracted by life and having no ability whatsoever to control myself and write the paper. Perhaps, getting lost in these thoughts and spending time catching up with friends is what I needed for sanity perhaps it added to the insanity instead. But nevertheless, I spent (or wasted) time staring into nothingness trying to figure out life. Why I do it? I will never know but at that moment in my life, tryign to figure out my future was more important than writing the paper for the present. And I'm still trying to figure it out. The good news is however, I'm not quite as consumed by my thoughts right now. The beauty of having God in life is that you don't have to figure out things on your own. Now as I'm still wrestling with my thoughts, I have an overwhelming sense of peace surrounding me, a sort of patience caught between wanting to figure it out now and wanting to hang in and hang on for the ride. Maybe it has something to do with the fact also that in God and with God, we find rest. So the break from my homework led to craziness but in the craziness I found peace, peace with God. While, I am still stuck in the puzzle and maze and confusion of my future; I am here today waiting to see what is next in store (and haha doing my best to be a good student once more).

Classes end this week. I have one presentation and one project keeping me away from the end of the tunnel...but really I don't know if I want them to end. With this ending, many of my ISA friends leave to go home. While I have only known them for a month, it feels like I've known them forever. Just watching them changing and listening to their encouragement and laughing together while we make mistakes or experience new things...I will really miss them. But for now we have a week to do many crazy things before they leave. It will keep me busy! Completos tonight...Good bye dinner Tuesday...Salsa Wednesday??...Their final Youth Group Friday...Wow...

I feel like I've been here forever and its only been a little over one month. One month. Its been long and slow all at the same time. I think it hit me just how fast it goes when I watched Felipe say goodbye to his host sister. Its funny how 6 months can make you so close to someone. I can't imagine what the Chileans feel like. They become really good friends with the exchange students and within a short time (compared to a lifetime) they have to say goodbye to someone who has become such a major part of their life. I have attachment issues, I don't think I could manage. But I guess it becomes normal.

I think its funny how my host brother always says "Mira" or "Come on" (both very funnily said). He's helpful at times hard to understand though.

Its interesting watching how families are here. Or just the people in general. They really have no concept of personal space/a bubble. They are very close, touchy feely people. I'm still adjusting...I like my bubble.

Birthday was yesterday.
It was a fairly good birthday.
It started out as a rainy day. Of course, you know, it doesn't rain for weeks and chooses to rain on my birthday. The night before was pretty (pizza, games, waves, beach!) but the morning was gross. However, I was blessed to see the rain clear up (even though I didn't spend time outside, it was still nice...I did get to see the sunset though-sort of). Around 2:30 Amy and Hillary came over for lunch. My family went all out and used fancy plates, etc. The day was full of hugs, kisses, laughter, and fun. We had Mexican food (tacos), a cake with manjar, and real coffee (amy was thrilled!) It was fun. My family even gave me little gifts and sang to me. It was just like being at home...well not really but a reasonable substitute. After eating, etc. we went to my room to hang out. Amy went crazy and started having a converation with Javier, my stuffed dog. It was amusing. And we just hung out for awhile and talked about the saddness of Amy leaving. After that we walked to the mall to see UP! (along the way, we told jokes, Hillary does not laugh at the funny jokes...Amy and I disowned her, Pablo called her a tough crowd). We finally got there (tooo many people in the mall...it was a 'holiday' weekend. Whatever that means...) The movie was amazing! You didnt have to know a lot of Spanish to know what was going on. I wrestled with the fact that it was a movie intended for kids. I guess that's the Children's Lit class coming out in me. I concluded that it is a movie that transcends age. There is laughter and a message for everyone contained inside. The biggest lesson though, is happiness is not found in material things or the past; happiness is found in the joy of the moment and the people we love. As you can see, I really like analyzing things.

Today, like most days has gone fast. I had cake for breakfast (? why, I will never know?) then went to church w/ Pablo...we are always late. I found myself daydreaming and doing a lot of thinking during the service...I had trouble following and I found my thoughts were more consuming-helpful in a sense. Though, I got the big picture and to me, that is all that really matters. I know what it is and how to apply. In God, there is rest.

I'm thankful for the church aspect. It gives me a group of wonderful Chilean friends. It is like a second home because, they make me feel at home and surrounded by love.

Hasta luego.