Instead of writing a paper or doing other things that I should probably doing, I've decided to set aside some time to update this blog with more than a few sentences that really don't demonstrate or give much insight into my life to you the reader who probably has no idea what I am talking about half of the time.
I basically spent all of my free time this past week trying to write a paper, a simple one page paper describing why one of the many stories we have read in my contemporary hispanoamericana literature class was contemporary. I literally spent hours just sitting at my computer, easily finding myself distracted by life and having no ability whatsoever to control myself and write the paper. Perhaps, getting lost in these thoughts and spending time catching up with friends is what I needed for sanity perhaps it added to the insanity instead. But nevertheless, I spent (or wasted) time staring into nothingness trying to figure out life. Why I do it? I will never know but at that moment in my life, tryign to figure out my future was more important than writing the paper for the present. And I'm still trying to figure it out. The good news is however, I'm not quite as consumed by my thoughts right now. The beauty of having God in life is that you don't have to figure out things on your own. Now as I'm still wrestling with my thoughts, I have an overwhelming sense of peace surrounding me, a sort of patience caught between wanting to figure it out now and wanting to hang in and hang on for the ride. Maybe it has something to do with the fact also that in God and with God, we find rest. So the break from my homework led to craziness but in the craziness I found peace, peace with God. While, I am still stuck in the puzzle and maze and confusion of my future; I am here today waiting to see what is next in store (and haha doing my best to be a good student once more).
Classes end this week. I have one presentation and one project keeping me away from the end of the tunnel...but really I don't know if I want them to end. With this ending, many of my ISA friends leave to go home. While I have only known them for a month, it feels like I've known them forever. Just watching them changing and listening to their encouragement and laughing together while we make mistakes or experience new things...I will really miss them. But for now we have a week to do many crazy things before they leave. It will keep me busy! Completos tonight...Good bye dinner Tuesday...Salsa Wednesday??...Their final Youth Group Friday...Wow...
I feel like I've been here forever and its only been a little over one month. One month. Its been long and slow all at the same time. I think it hit me just how fast it goes when I watched Felipe say goodbye to his host sister. Its funny how 6 months can make you so close to someone. I can't imagine what the Chileans feel like. They become really good friends with the exchange students and within a short time (compared to a lifetime) they have to say goodbye to someone who has become such a major part of their life. I have attachment issues, I don't think I could manage. But I guess it becomes normal.
I think its funny how my host brother always says "Mira" or "Come on" (both very funnily said). He's helpful at times hard to understand though.
Its interesting watching how families are here. Or just the people in general. They really have no concept of personal space/a bubble. They are very close, touchy feely people. I'm still adjusting...I like my bubble.
Birthday was yesterday.
It was a fairly good birthday.
It started out as a rainy day. Of course, you know, it doesn't rain for weeks and chooses to rain on my birthday. The night before was pretty (pizza, games, waves, beach!) but the morning was gross. However, I was blessed to see the rain clear up (even though I didn't spend time outside, it was still nice...I did get to see the sunset though-sort of). Around 2:30 Amy and Hillary came over for lunch. My family went all out and used fancy plates, etc. The day was full of hugs, kisses, laughter, and fun. We had Mexican food (tacos), a cake with manjar, and real coffee (amy was thrilled!) It was fun. My family even gave me little gifts and sang to me. It was just like being at home...well not really but a reasonable substitute. After eating, etc. we went to my room to hang out. Amy went crazy and started having a converation with Javier, my stuffed dog. It was amusing. And we just hung out for awhile and talked about the saddness of Amy leaving. After that we walked to the mall to see UP! (along the way, we told jokes, Hillary does not laugh at the funny jokes...Amy and I disowned her, Pablo called her a tough crowd). We finally got there (tooo many people in the mall...it was a 'holiday' weekend. Whatever that means...) The movie was amazing! You didnt have to know a lot of Spanish to know what was going on. I wrestled with the fact that it was a movie intended for kids. I guess that's the Children's Lit class coming out in me. I concluded that it is a movie that transcends age. There is laughter and a message for everyone contained inside. The biggest lesson though, is happiness is not found in material things or the past; happiness is found in the joy of the moment and the people we love. As you can see, I really like analyzing things.
Today, like most days has gone fast. I had cake for breakfast (? why, I will never know?) then went to church w/ Pablo...we are always late. I found myself daydreaming and doing a lot of thinking during the service...I had trouble following and I found my thoughts were more consuming-helpful in a sense. Though, I got the big picture and to me, that is all that really matters. I know what it is and how to apply. In God, there is rest.
I'm thankful for the church aspect. It gives me a group of wonderful Chilean friends. It is like a second home because, they make me feel at home and surrounded by love.
Hasta luego.
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