"I remember . . . while I was going out of my father's house—the sharpness of sense will not be greater, I believe, in the very instant of agony of my death, than it was then. It seemed as if all the bones in my body were wrenched asunder.... There was no such love of God in me then as was able to quench the love I felt for my father and my friends."
Its funny how the little moments in our lives can stop us dead in our tracks and make us question our world and long for the ones we love.
Tonight while I was sitting on my computer finishing my powerpoint presentation for my Culture class, there was a loud bang. I had no idea what it was or what was going on...I thought I missed an earthquake or something. Then I quickly processed information and realized that my host mom was calling for Pablo and that my host dad had collapsed. I stood of course frozen and at that moment all of the Spanish I knew left my brain. How do you respond do something like that? And then after the chaos slowed and he regained consciousness and they went to the hospital, I found myself remembering these words from Mother Theresa that Profesora sent me the other day....And all of a sudden I felt this rush/urgency inside of me. Realizing that I am here and that I'm growing up and feeling just a rush of unexplainable motions but most of all feeling a strong love for my family back in the US. I can't explain it. Its strange really. I was thinking about it today and how much I feel like I haven't been the best daughter, sister, or friend. And then all of a sudden tonight it all hit me. And I just want to spend so spend time with my family. It made me realize just how much I appreciate them so much more and love them for everything. I wish I could go back in time and be the perfect daughter, etc. But now is better than any time. And at my weakest point tonight, I started listening to the radio and the first song that came on when I started to feel this strange sensation was Butterfly Kisses.
To my family and friends back home and at school...I love you all very much and I'm so blessed to have you in my life.
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